When someone you care about experiences a loss, it’s natural to want to reach out and offer comfort. Yet knowing exactly what to write in a sympathy card can feel daunting. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, not saying enough, or failing to provide the comfort your loved one needs.
If you’re searching for thoughtful, genuine ways to express your condolences, you’re in the right place. This guide will help you find the right words, and remind you that even simple messages from the heart can mean the world.
- Sympathy Cards Can Be Hard to Write (But We’re Here to Help)
- General Tips for Writing a Sympathy Card
- Thoughtful Messages & Examples to Write in a Sympathy Card
- Things to Avoid Saying in a Sympathy Card
- Other Ways You Can Help
- Your Message Can Make a Difference
Sympathy Cards Can Be Hard to Write (But We’re Here to Help)
There’s a reason so many people struggle with writing sympathy cards: grief is deeply emotional and personal. Unlike writing a thank you card, it’s normal to feel unsure of what to say because:
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Emotions run high during grief: Both the grieving person and you, as the supporter, are likely navigating strong emotions.
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Fear of saying the “wrong thing”: Many people worry they’ll unintentionally cause more pain or say something insensitive.
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Pressure to be profound or perfectly comforting: It can feel like you have to write something wise or deeply moving, which adds stress.
But here’s the good news: simple words, written sincerely, often mean the most. You don’t have to write a perfect message. Even a few heartfelt lines can bring comfort and remind the grieving person that they’re not alone.
General Tips for Writing a Sympathy Card
Before you put pen to paper, keep these gentle reminders in mind:
Keep it Short and Sincere
You don’t need to write a long letter to make an impact. A few genuine sentences can bring comfort and remind someone they’re not alone. Don’t feel pressured to fill the entire card, either. Simple words often carry the most meaning during times of grief.
Avoid Cliches Unless They Feel Genuine
Common phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason” can sometimes feel hollow or impersonal, especially if you’re unsure of the recipient’s beliefs. If a familiar phrase truly resonates with you and feels authentic, it’s okay to include it, but be mindful of how it might be received.
It’s Okay to Admit You Don’t Know What to Say
There’s no perfect way to express sympathy, and it’s perfectly fine to admit that. Writing something like, “I don’t have the right words, but I’m thinking of you,” is honest and comforting. It shows you care, even if words feel inadequate.
Offer Support in Practical Ways If Appropriate
People often say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but grief can make it hard for someone to ask for help. Instead, offer specific support, such as: “I’d love to bring over dinner this week,” or “Can I help you run errands on Saturday?” Concrete offers can ease some burdens without placing extra decisions on the grieving person.
Write From the Heart
You don’t need fancy words, poetic phrases, or profound wisdom. Your natural voice, spoken with kindness and sincerity, is enough.
Thoughtful Messages & Examples to Write in a Sympathy Card
Here are some sympathy card messages to help inspire you, whether you’re writing to a close friend, a coworker, or someone experiencing a specific kind of loss. Feel free to personalize them or use them as they are.
Short & Simple Messages
Sometimes the simplest words are the most comforting. Here are some nice things to write in a sympathy card when you’re at a loss:
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“Thinking of you during this difficult time.”
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“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
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“Sending love and strength your way.”
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“Please know I care and am here for you.”
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“You’re in my thoughts and prayers.”
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“Wishing you comfort and peace.”
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“Holding you close in my heart.”
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“My deepest sympathies to you and your family.”
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“May beautiful memories bring you peace.”
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“I’m here if you need anything at all.”
Messages for Close Friends or Family
For someone you’re close to, you may want to write a slightly longer, more personal note:
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“I can’t imagine how hard this is. I’m here for you for anything you need.”
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“Please remember you’re not alone. Lean on me anytime.”
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“I’m grieving with you and sending you all my love.”
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“I’m holding you close in my heart and wishing you moments of peace amidst the sadness.”
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“If you feel like talking or just sitting quietly together, I’m here.”
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“Take all the time you need to grieve. I’m right here by your side.”
Sympathy Messages for Acquaintances or Coworkers
If you’re writing to someone you know less personally, keep it respectful and warm:
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“I’m very sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.”
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“Sending my deepest sympathies to you during this time.”
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“Please accept my condolences. Wishing you comfort in the days ahead.”
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“I was so sorry to hear about your loss. You’re in my thoughts.”
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“May you find strength and peace during this difficult time.”
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“Wishing you comfort and support as you navigate this loss.”
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“Please know the team is here for you and thinking of you.”
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“I hope you’re surrounded by love and care right now.”
Messages for Specific Situations
Loss can take many forms. Here are thoughtful examples tailored to different circumstances:
Loss of a Parent
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“Your mother/father was an incredible person. I’m grateful to have known them.”
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“Losing a parent leaves a space no one can fill. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Loss of a Spouse or Partner
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“I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your partner. Their love will always be part of you.”
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“Wishing you strength and comfort as you navigate life without (person’s name).”
Loss of a Child
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“There are no words for a loss like this. My heart breaks for you.”
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“Your child was so loved and will never be forgotten.”
Loss of a Pet
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“I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved (pet’s name). They brought so much joy.”
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“Wishing you comfort as you remember all the happy times with (pet’s name).”
Things to Avoid Saying in a Sympathy Card
Even with the best intentions, some phrases can unintentionally cause pain. Here’s what to steer clear of:
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Phrases that minimize grief: Avoid saying things like, “At least they’re no longer suffering,” or “It was their time.”
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Words that make it about your own experiences: While you may relate, try not to shift focus to your own losses. Keep the message centered on them
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Overly philosophical statements: Deep statements about life, fate, or death can feel out of place unless you know they’d bring comfort.
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Explanations for why it happened: Avoid trying to rationalize the loss with statements like, “Everything happens for a reason.”
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Anything that may unintentionally feel dismissive: Phrases like “Time heals all wounds” can feel insensitive, even if well-meant.
Other Ways You Can Help
Knowing what to write in a sympathy card is meaningful, but actions can also show your support in powerful ways. Here are some thoughtful things you can do:
Bake Them Something
Freshly baked treats can offer comfort not only through nourishment but also through the love and care they represent. A warm loaf of bread, a batch of muffins, or a plate of homemade cookies can be a small bright spot on an otherwise heavy day. Even simple baked goods remind someone that they’re cared for and thought of during this difficult time.
Not confident in your baking skills? No-bake desserts can be just as heartwarming. You could also send a box of cookies, a selection of sweet treats, or even a basket of fresh fruit to show you care.
Prepare a Meal or Arrange Meal Delivery
Cooking can feel overwhelming when someone is grieving. Dropping off a home-cooked meal, or even arranging for meal delivery from a favorite restaurant, can take one big task off their shoulders. Consider meals that are easy to reheat and serve, and if possible, check for any dietary restrictions in advance.
Help with Errands
Grief often saps people of energy and focus, making even small daily tasks feel monumental. Offer to pick up groceries, help with school drop-offs, take care of pets, or handle household chores like laundry or yard work.
Send a Care Package
Sometimes, a small box filled with comforting items can bring a moment of peace. Put together a thoughtful DIY gift box with things like soothing teas, cozy socks, a scented candle, a soft blanket, or a favorite book.
Your Message Can Make a Difference
When someone is grieving, a kind word, a heartfelt note, or a simple act of kindness can bring incredible comfort. You don’t have to find the perfect words: just be honest and show that you truly care.
And sometimes, a small treat can add a little extra comfort during a difficult time. Mrs. Fields® offers delicious cookies, brownies, and gift baskets that can be a thoughtful addition to a care package or a simple gesture to let someone know you’re thinking of them.